My Parents

My parents, despite the troubles I learned they had when I got older, made me feel loved. They married young, at a mere 17, had me when mom was 19. Daddy was in the military when they met, stationed at Shepherd Air Force base. I don't know too much they never really told me about their love story; but I have a few letters given to me by a realative who has passed on, and my dad sounded very much crazy in love with my mom. He started going to church with my mother and was even baptized. I think there was no discipleship so he drifted away.

They had a rough time, apparently my dad even left my mom for while and went to his the places and people he'd grown up around as a boy, leaving my mother and me behind. Thank God my mother followed him and somehow they got back together.

My recollections of them as a young child are few and far between. I remember just feeling loved. I thought my dad was huge....

As I grew some things became more apparent to me...that my dad was more demonstrative than my mom in the areas of affection and encouragment. I remember my dad whistling alot and his deep voice.
He gave me great hugs. As a girl I helped my dad "do things" in the garage and around the yard and loved every minute of it.

My mother was hard working as most mothers are, and I did not fully appreciate the depth of her hard work until I was a mother myself. She worked full time at the same courthouse as my dad and they traveled to work together. Mom seemed to struggle with the load, telling me later that my dad helped her rarely. So I am sure she was so tired most of the time and longed for him to want to help her. Whatever the dynamics of their relationship, for the most part, I thought I had THE best parents and that I was very loved and so I guess they did a pretty good job with the important part of the job.

My parents were very different. My mother expressed her faith in regular church attendance and she took us from the time we were small. My father rarely attended, usually if something was happening that involved one of us kids. I don't really remember my folks having fights. Usually if they were having a disagreement mom would get quiet and sob.
My mom read me the annual Christmas story from the local paper,...it was one of my fondest memories. Mom would sit in the chair and I would sit on the arm of the chair, each night there was an installment; I loved it.

My folks worked hard, my dad sometimes worked 1 or 2 extra jobs. he played harmonica, was great working with wood and tools, whistled wonderfully, and took us camping. Sadly daddy smoked, from 16 till the day he died at the age of 40.

My mother was a talented seamstress and crafts person, there wasn't much she couldn't do and she was a fine cook. She made our lives orderly, loving and directed. She taught us about God and for that I am so grateful.

My First Love, Michael

This captures the time and my heart.
The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the end of the skies

The first time ever I kissed your mouth
I felt the earth move in my hand
Like the trembling heart of a captive bird
That was there at my command my love

The first time ever I lay with you
I felt your heart so close to mine
And I knew our joy would fill the earth
And last till the end of time, my love.

The first time ever I saw your face
Your face
Your face
Your face

We met in 1973 several months after my father died at a mutual friends house...we didn't see each other again for some time. I became sick and Michael ran into one of my friends at the mall and asked about me; they told him I was sick; he showed up at my apartment with a friend, he sat with me and took care of me for a while.....and then left. After that we started seeing each other and our first date was to the Blue Ridge Mountains. He was so strong, so tender, so beautiful. I fell like a ton of bricks into his arms and love.

So intelligent, so loving, kind, hard working, self starting, motivated, sacrificing, makes me laugh, makes me smile, optimistic, wonderful provider, wonderful father, my friend, my love, my breath. Full of energy, willing to try new things. Deeply sensitive, warm, affectionate. Great kisser.

Enjoys golf, fishing, poker, swimming and MOVIES. He's an adoring father, who would do anything for his girls. He's a loving grandfather.

A 30 day meme....later girls you can read this

Two of my girls are are posting the 30 day meme on livejournal, so I thought it might be something to do; maybe something for them to read later. So here goes. # 1 Introduce yourself:

Day 01 - Introduce yourself
Day 02 – Your first love
Day 03 – Your parents
Day 04 – What you ate today
Day 05 – Your definition of love
Day 06 – Your day
Day 07 – Your best friend
Day 08 – A moment
Day 09 – Your beliefs
Day 10 – What you wore today
Day 11 – Your siblings
Day 12 – What's in your bag
Day 13 – This week
Day 14 – What you wanted to be when you grew up
Day 15 – Your dreams
Day 16 – Your first kiss
Day 17 – Your favourite memory
Day 18 – Your favourite birthday
Day 19 – Something you regret
Day 20 – This month
Day 21 – Another moment
Day 22 – Something that upsets you
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry
Day 25 – A first
Day 26 – Your fears
Day 27 – Your favourite place
Day 28 – Something that you miss
Day 29 – Your aspirations
Day 30 – One last moment


Sometimes we are so busy living life that we never have to think about things...like how would I introduce myself? Oh my, I am not sure....hummmm. Well I will just give it a try.

I was born in Wichita Falls, TX to William James and Mary Frances Barry. I was premature and weighed 5lbs.7oz.-early, I wasn't due till July. I have 3 siblings, a sister 5 years younger, a brother 6 years younger, and a sister 9 years younger.

We lived in several places but most of my growing up life was in Virginia.
I remember feeling loved, loving animals and playing outside. Life was fairly simple and kids in my neighborhood played on the sidewalk and went to each others house without a thought.I rode my bike, played in the creek and generally ran all over the neighborhood.

I was raised Baptist by my mother, my father did not attend, but I found out later he was baptised after going to church with my mother before they married; so I hope to see him in heaven.

I went to public school, this was long before homeschooling. We had no cable, no cell phones, no computers, no satellite anything, no ipods, no video games. No video players, dvd's or itunes. There were no seatbelts. When I drove my car in high school it was 25 cents per gallon.

As I grew I was a part of Campfire girls, a school patrol officer in the 5th grade, winner of a citizenship award in Junior High. I played basketball and was part of the pep team.

I played flute in high school and was part of the All State band and the marching band.

I gave my life to Christ during Vacation Bible School before Junior High, but I don't remember what age exactly. At church I participated in GAs (a sort of religious girl scouts, with levels; you earned various things at various levels which were bestowed in a church ceremony) and attained the level of Queen with Scepter which was the highest you could go.

I finished high school uneventfully, and went to work. Worked from the time I was 16. Had lots of jobs.. my first was at Woolworth's where I worked behind the candy counter after school. I worked at another drug store (in high school) at the grill, (yes drug stores used to have little restaurants in them). I was a dental assistant, a bank teller, and dental crown maker, a dr.'s assistant, a retail clerk at Sears I worked at McDonalds, and a doughnut shop. I also worked as a collections agent for an health club.

A defining life moment was the death of my father when he was 40 from a massive heart attack. I was 19.
After that my mother sold our house, and packed up my siblings and moved to Texas. I did not want to leave the place where I'd spent most of my growing up life and stayed behind. It was a difficult time, without the benefit of modern communicative technology I was suddenly without all familiar connection.

I met the beat of my heart a few months after my family left, but we did not get together for many months more. We married in 75, I went to nursing school and graduated at the top of my class, and then worked as the head of the Physical Therapy Dept for several years; six years later we were blest with the first of 3 beautiful daughters and I was blessed by my beloved and became a stay at home mom.

We homeschooled our children and they have grown into beautiful godly young married women themselves.

My husband and my children have been a blessing beyond my dreams.

We've lived mostly in Texas, short term in Louisiana and most of that time in the Houston area. We moved to Houston so Michael could open an office for INS Investigations (fire investigations firm) and we could have a raise so I could be home. After years working hard for INS Michael wanted to try starting his own Fire Investigation Firm, so we launched Premier Claims Investigations, Inc. in 1994. From the very first day we had business.

We moved to Conroe, TX in 97 and after the kids were all done with school and left the nest I took over working part-time in the office.

I'm a grandmother now and I have so far 5 new daughters to love. 3 of them live nearby; and sadly the other two little beauties do not.  "update"  There are now two little boys, Ethan who will be 3 August 23,2018 the light of Meg and David's days; and Andrew, who just turned 4 December, 2017.

My days are largely portioned like this; up and usually to the office immediately, office work usually not lasting past noon.

I'm 57 and God has blest me incredibly with a life full of love. My husband has been so loving, so affectionate, so hard working, such a good father, my friend, my sweetheart. I have never feared for my safety or provision, his life has been one of integrity and godliness and I have felt cherished in his love.

I believe one of my gifts in life has been that of encourager, I tend to the neat-nik side, I'm a "why put off till tomorrow what you can do today" kind of gal. I am a very much a homebody and I'm sure too much so to my dear husband. I'm basically an introvert, but I have at various points in my life stepped up to extrovert status if it was needed. I don't generally enjoy gaggles of women doing "women things" like baby showers, home parties etc. I've tried to be a servant to my family and friends when I am aware and able and to be a positive, optimistic person. I'm sure I've failed to have an appropriate amount of gratitude to my God for my blessings in spite of my many failings.

I love being outdoors, although living in Houston has made that difficult a good part of each year (heat, humidity, bugs). After having children, I began to have trouble with my weight,.. and it has been the bain of my personal being ever since. I found I was hypo thyroid after years of struggle, but still have not found a doctor who cared enough to get me to the point of great weight and health again. I continue to try though. I enjoy computers, flowers, crafting, swinging (like a swing on the porch). I love Sedona, AZ; it may be my favorite place for beauty, lack of humidity lack of bugs. I like talking walks with Michael while we talk and hold hands.

I consider my failings to be lack of success with controlling my weight and the double-edged sword of my introvertedness.

I have no great bucket list...no pressing desire to travel, I AM content in the life we live and what I have seen and done in this life so far; to continue to be a wife and mother and grandmother are the epitomy of joy.

Water Pumps and Out Houses

There was a little girl I played with, she lived behind us somewhere...I only remember that her family had no running water in their house and when we played if we wanted a drink we had to go out and pump the handle till the clear cool water came out.

They also had no indoor plumbing. I hated outhouses, the bugs, the spider webs, the big hole...and sometimes the smell. When you are little though it is as if the big hole will swallow you up...my feet could touch the floor so your hands properly placed keep you balanced and safe. They had catalogs...I didn't like those either!

The funny thing is, my mom has this strong memory about that family. She said the little girl used to come to our house to play and would just stand in the yard to go to the bathroom. Mom said she had to have words with the girl's mom,... I don't remember a thing.

Daddy Talked me into Eating Dog Biscuits

My daddy thought it was funny to tell me that the dog biscuits were yummy. He convinced me by biting off big chunks himself and a telling me how really good it was. He was my daddy and I trusted him, so I said "yeah? okay" and next thing ya know I was chomping on dog biscuits too. They really weren't that good; and I think I didn't eat them again, but I wanted to be cool like my dad so for the time dog biscuits were okay.

The Ringer Washer

My momma had a ringer washer, at least for a while.. I think it was in a basement in Clifton,Va. I remember watching my mom trying to feed the clothes in between the two rollers and then turning the handles to take the clothes through and squeeze out all the water. It wasn't easy. I suppose it squeezed the water out just fine. After all that washin, or (warshin as my mom said) mom would take the clothes out back and hang them on the line. Stuff was so stiff and wrinkly.... I am sooooo glad that I have not had wringer washers or clotheslines, if I had to iron I would die. I hate it.

The train.

I have no recollection of a bedtime ritual at all; I must have been about 6,7, with a small single bed, wooden floors and in other ways simplicity. I remember so many nights getting out of bed and laying on that wooden floor, waiting to the feel or hear the train in the distance. If you laid on the floor being very still you could feel the vibrations in the house from a great distance. As the train neared the house it was so loud, and there was so much vibration. I am surprised we could function at all with the nightly hubbub, but, we did :-)

More on Clifton

I've been thinking more about Clifton, the house in Clifton was if I remember correctly, white wood with a nice sized step up porch, that vaguely seems to have been gray...I should check with momma. Anyway, I think it had a picket white fence around it as well. Next door, and I mean right next door were the train tracks; and next to that a small, crowed, somewhat dark, neighborhood store.

There was a barrel of ice filled with soft drinks in glass bottles and my mom used to send me there to get a Dr. Pepper for her. The bottles were sooo cold, you'd pull them out with water dripping off and it seemed they were nothing short of a vacation by a cool mountain stream on a hot summer day. The bottles were the old ones, with the clocks on them. That is the main thing I remember about the store.

A German Shepherd

I'm sure as I think and post about growing up and my life I'll have to go back and forth. So tonight I go back to Clifton and our dog Dewclaws, as you might guess he had them. I used to ride him in the house, it was soooo much fun...until, one day when we took off for a ride, as we came to the kitchen door (the old kind, split, where you could have the top or bottom open or closed or all open or all closed) I could see the top half of the door was shut, the bottom was open, so the dog ran through and a high rate of speed with me not reacting quickly enough and BAMMMMM!!! I hit the top of the door and fell off the dog into the floor with the breath knocked out of me. I'm not sure I rode the dog anymore.

Back to Annadale

When I lived in Annadale my little sister Beth was born, funny thing is I don't remember a whole lot about her being a baby, I guess because I was 9 years older and busy with school and Brownies (like girl scouts) and playing with my friends.

I had my own room there, and a twin bed with a window that looked out on the circle; I could see everything going on there.

If I disappointed my folks or committed some other crime of childhood I was usually spanked or sent to bed early without supper. I would lay in the bed hearing my friends play hide and seek many times with the sun still out and posit on my choices that brought me to that place. It was indeed a sad fate to be in my bed early.

Other times when I had erred in my ways, my daddy would paddle me. Sometimes with a paddle, sometimes with a belt, sometimes with his hand. He would ask me if I knew why I was getting spanked, and I through tears, would usually know why, and tell him, and then my punishment was delivered. Oh how I hated spankings, hated disappointing my daddy.

Sometimes my spanking was on bare butt and that was worst of all.

One time I remember my daddy calling me in and telling me I was going to be spanked. He told me to drop my pants and he wanted to have good contact. I was crying as I bent over his lap for my punishment. I waited for my smacks and then he bent over and kissed my behind. He told me I had suffered enough and that was that.

Fairfax

I talked to my mom and she said I was missing a place we lived--Fairfax. I remember some things there. Waiting for the bus at the end of the street, eating mulberries from a tree at that stop. An open field across from the house, and someone with cherry trees. I had my first sleepover there a few houses down the street and got homesick. My dad came and got me. The neighbors were older and their house smelled, I think like mothballs. I didn't like it at all.
Also in this house I had my first terrible turtle bite; rotten thing bit me in the skin in between my thumb and forefinger... and he wouldn't let go for the longest time. I also remember stairs to an attic. I had Madame Alexander Dolls there; that was the last house I saw them in. I think I'd gotten most of them from my Texas grandmother Louise Gaynor.

That is the extent of my memories of living in Fairfax.

Annandale, VA was my next home. We lived in a brick house at the center end of a circle, what was it? Cynthia Ct. So many things happened in this house. So many memories. Beth was born there. I got my first turquoise 2 wheel bike. Had my first crab apple fights, my first fort, my first near drowning. It was the first time someone called the police because of something I was involved in ( Mrs. Tidball), and the first time I learned to swim. My daddy grew carnations there. I walked to school each day. I had my first brush with older boys being sexual with me, which I will talk about later. I first remember snow here, and sleding and snow shielding and ice skating on the creek. I played in the creek unattended for hours on end; caught crayfish,
salmanders, fish, turtles and fire flies.

We had another dog in Clifton, VA. I don't remember what type of dog, or its name, but it got hit by a car and it had some kind of injury in its back legs...it crawled off under the post office before I could get it--and died under there. I think that might have been my first brush with death.

Wren was born while we lived in Clifton, I remember being sooo excited to have a baby sister. She had casts on her legs and I thought it was so sad. I remember sitting next to mom, trying to talk to her and touch her, before she could walk or maybe right when she started to walk I started school. By the time my little sister could talk or play with me at all I was full into school and having less time at home. There were five years between us and it seemed we just didn't have much time to get close. The next year my brother was born and I wasn't around him much either. I think the spacing between all of us was a hinderance to our relationships for most of my life. I mean I was in the 4th grade when my little sister Beth was born and very involved in school, when she was starting to walk I was in 5th grade and a student patrol officer. Just so much time between us; it seemed we could not catch up for most of our lives. :-(

I recall my daddy convincing me that dog biscuits were good by taking bites of one himself. So of course I ate them too. I remember loving my parents so much. I remember being so happy about the babies. That is most of my memories of Clifton.

Mom just told me that when we lived in Alexandria, in the apartments where the ice cream man came (my recollection) that we (mom and dad and me) were outside talking to a neighbor and I told her she needed to brush her teeth :-O
Mom said the lady smoked and had lot staining on her teeth...:-)

After we lived in Alexandria we moved to Clifton. We lived in a house right next to the train tracks. Next door was a little grocery store, seemed like it was kind of dark and like the isles were narrow. At the front there was a barrel filled with ice and Dr. Pepper and other sodas, the old kind in glass bottles with the clock on them. Seems like my mom sent me to that store to get her a Dr. Pepper sometimes...maybe after I started school there.

Lots of times at night I would get out of bed and and lay on the floor to hear the train coming a long way off and to feel the vibrations.
I think I remember a picket fence around the house and some sort of porch at least in the front. I got my first kitty there, a white long haired cat; for christmas. Snowball. :-)
We had a dog, a boxer, he had dew claws, and had to have them removed, seems like. He died from some kind of cancer in his stomach. I used to ride him in the house, he would take off running and I'd hang on, which was great fun, until he ran through the bottom half of the door and the top half was closed.
My mom had a ringer washer, I remember thinking it was pretty neat as I watched momma putting the clothes in it and cranking them through. We used the clothes line,...
I had a friend that lived behind us whose family used an outhouse, and seems like I remember catalogs in there. I didn't think alot about it then. They also had an hand pump for water, I loved using that pump; taking the handle, pumping it up and down and waiting for the water to come out. It was so wonderful when it finally appeared yaaaaaay!!!
I started school there, I don't remember alot about it, except I seem to remember some sort of winding road going up to the school, like through the woods. I remember snack time and chocolate milk, and rolling out mats to take naps on. I really liked nap time.

My dad was a part time fire fighter. One year the VFD had a Christmas party and the families of the men were invited and the children would be given Christmas gifts. They began to call names and the kids were all excited.. I was excited because they were giving out dolls to the girls and fire trucks to the boys...I kept waiting they called my name...I went forward, they handed me my gift...I looked down and IT WAS A FIRE TRUCK. My name was not a usual name at the time... and they must have thought I was a Daniel. I was so disappointed. More to come on Clifton.

Going Back

I was trying to remember what I remember from my childhood. I have some memory of laying on my daddy while he laid on the floor and we looked at his fish tanks. :-)

My earliest memories, which I think are real and true are of us living in apartments.
I don't remember much about the apartments themselves or my room or anything really about the apartment, but I do remember a little bit of our furniture. We had a dark forest green nubby couch (I remember playing with the nubbies) and a weird lamp; it had a shiny black base with a bright shiny gold lightening bolt type thing on it and a lamp shade that was sort of white, with black drizzles and black lacing whip stitched on both the top and bottom edges. It was probably a common design for the day, but it was really unattractive.

I remember the ice cream man, wow do I remember him. I think he came everyday, I remember hearing the music and many times going down to stand at the end of the sidewalk waiting for the magic man to appear. The truck would stop and out would pop the clean cut, white suited Ice Cream Man. He'd ask what we wanted and open up the door of the truck, it was frosty and cold and magic....he'd reach way down in there and even though the door wasn't very big, he seemed to be able to quickly and easily find just what you wanted. I loved going to the ice cream truck.

Also about this time I have a vague memory of being watched by someone...I think I liked the person well enough, but my mom tells me that the woman was feeding me gravy everyday, so she didn't let the lady watch me anymore. Isn't that funny? Gravy.

This is also the place where my mother said I left my tricycle outside;she went down to get it and was doing the stand on the back and push thing and somehow she fell, and scraped herself up. She sort of made it sound like I should have put it away, but I'm thinking I was pretty little and we lived in an apartment upstairs...soooooo :-(

Oh How Things Have Changed

I was reading the blog of one of the young women on my facebook account and realized that the ability to blog about your day to day life is a wonderful thing. When my children were little there was no internet, no cell phones, no digital cameras. Keeping up with your kids and having pictures and videos was expensive and time consuming.

Oh how my heart wishes I'd had those benefits. I think it would have been quite a gift to my children to have regular posts from their mother about their lives and the pictures and videos; well it is indeed an awesome thing.

Sooo I plan to muse here about things that cross my mind and heart, my children, my husband, my life, aging etc.

I Think a Blog Might Be a Good Idea

Sometimes, I need to express myself and get out feelings that are not necessarily smart to share, but at the same time they beg to be let out.

Often this involves my beloved ones and other issues of this life. This will be a new thing for me but I thought I would give it a shot.

Scripture says that it is good to have control of the tongue and I do try to have control, but there are so many issues of the heart...so many